The Punisher is my Spirit Animal

The Punisher is my Spirit Animal

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

My Ability to Conform is Trash

Conformity is the compliance and behavior in accordance to socially accepted standards, rules, or laws. 

The common things that will occur with most beings that decide not to conform is multiple forms of ridicule. In high school, the most frequent occurrence is being called 'weird'. 

"Your weird," as well as "Your white" are the most common things my peers have said to me. Whether if it was meant to be negative or not didn't matter, what they meant to be 'normal' or 'black' was. 

After the summer of 2013 (I think), I decided to screw the mask of conformity and be the person who I was. I decided that being girly wasn't my thing, and began to wear jeans and hoodies most of my time. May you understand that at this time, I was already out of place being one of the only black child in a predominately white and Mexican middle school [Diegueno in Encinitas, where I used to live before I moved to Spring Valley]. I was raised in a nicer environment, so I didn't have any problems there at Encinitas. 

Two years of living there, I had moved here, where I definitely didn't conform to racial stereotypes, and was made aware of that very often. 

I had made friends with the 'weird' people, only because we didn't care much what people thought. We didn't dress for attention, and we liked Anime, and video games, and Marvel, and were expressive. For that, we were considered 'weird'. Because normal people think that "Anime is weird"... I don't know what to tell you if you agree.

Any-whale, my mom would always say to me, "Black people say that Anime is weird", I honestly didn't know why she'd think I'd care, so I'd always shrug and say, "OK?" The other day, she was like, "You need to listen to some black people music." I just looked at her, because... yeah. I listen to most things except Rap, Jazz, most R&B, and Trance, and I guess that bothered her.

One of my friends near the beginning of my freshman year called me 'white' because of the way that I spoke and presented myself. I didn't really get much of stereotyping up until that point, and I was mad. It was like "are you saying that Black people don't usually speak proper English?" "Are you saying that African Americans don't cover themselves up?" "ARE YOU SAYING THAT ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE GHETTO and I'M AN EXCEPTION. WTF BRO THAT'S RACIST!"... I was triggered. Simply because I don't conform to the terrible stereotypes of African Americans, I quickly get a response by being called 'White'.

Over the years, I lost the ability to care about the pop-culture standards and bull, therefore facing the persecution that comes with not conforming. But I really don't care...

OH my god... I went on a tangent didn't I?

1 comment:

  1. DUUuuuuuuuUUUDE with being called "white" it happens to me ALLLLL THE TIME my grandpa calls me a quero (whedo?? idk it means white person in spanish slang) because I don't speak spanish... I agree that racial conformity does have to do with racism.